Studying.

For anyone my age (16, 17, 18), it's probably exam season. And what comes with exams? Revision.

It's that word on everyone's mind, and it's the one none of us wants to hear.

I honestly cannot remember the last time I had a study-free Christmas or Easter. It takes up our entire lives, but before I start ranting about our hellish education system (and I will, don't you worry), I'll just leave it at that. (Michael Gove; if that gives anyone a hint. Grr). That's all I have to say.

Are you in the midst of exams and revising at the moment? How's it going?

I would give out helpful, handy hints for revising, but I have honestly never perfected by craft. I'm a pretty inefficient studier to be perfectly frank. Feel free to share any wisdom if you have it.

Good luck in your exams if the have them, and if you don't:  

a) lucky!

b) feel for us.

'tis all.

So, I'll leave you with this picture of my common room, because I'm bored and forced to sit opposite Harry Styles' face. And yes, the collection on the ceiling is Ainsley Harriot, in case you were wondering.

Tea & Toast.

So, that isn't tea, it's coffee.

And there's no toast, its naan bread and a banana. 

But, let's face it, 'Coffee & a Naan bread & Banana' wouldn't have made the catchiest title now, would it?

Let's also just take a moment to appreciate the irony of my mug...

I digress.

Anyway, why not take a moment today, maybe its a stressful day or a boring do-nothing day or an I-should-be-doing-something-right-now day. Whatever kind of day it may be, just sit down with your tea and toast or coffee or naan bread or cereal, whichever it may be, and take 5.

That's always good, right? Just to take 5, whether your meant to be doing something or not. Refresh your mind and get ready to be productive throughout the rest of the day.

This post reads like it should have been put up in the morning, I know, but it practically is the morning for me, let's just not discuss the actual time right now...

Have a great day! And also...

'Thanks for reading this, not that anyone is.' 

- Waldo Pancake.

Judgement.

I'm a bitch.

I'm not going to lie about it, its a true fact. I enjoy sitting around, with my friends, talking about people and judging them behind their backs. 

But let's be honest, some people do just deserve it, and others don't do themselves any favours. I'm talking about the 'elite group' at school (for reference, when I say school, I mean college/sixth form. Same difference to me). 

There's four seating areas in my common room, consisting of these groups:

• Mine - we're the quiet, friendly but mildly rejected group.
• 'Elites', or populars - Think Mean Girls times 20, but not quite that mean.
• The 'I'm so hot I get all the boys and sex jokes are super cool' types.
• The unnecessarily loud, obnoxious and messy ones.

And with this much division, how can we not all bitch about the other groups? Particularly great is the fact that the latter two groups seem to consider themselves popular, when in reality, almost everyone and their mother dislikes them for something. Of course their oblivious to it. The oblivious ones are the best.

You may have sussed by now that I go to an all girls' school.

But with all of this judgyness towards the rest of the population, where does that leave me? Because if I'm judging the planet for their faults and amazing fashion 'sense' and mannerisms, are they not doing the same to me?

I honestly don't know, you tell me. Does everyone talk about everyone behind their backs, or is it just me, my friends and the girls in American teen drama? 

Point is, me being as judgemental as I am has left me with a serious knock in confidence. Its improving, but I'm somewhat introverted, and don't like to express myself too much for fear that people will see me as one of those loud, obnoxious types. I don't dress the way I want to because, where I live, it just doesn't work to look somewhat classy when everyone else is wearing shorts, crop tops and skirts that barely conceal their derrière. 

I am fully aware this may make no sense, if I'm judging people, surely its because I'm self confident. Well, yes, to some extent, I have my principles and opinions and I'm not one to follow to crowd, but I think its the intense fear of doing just that; following the crowd, which prevents me from being truly confident in myself and my actions. 

Maybe I need to start being a more accepting person. But then, what is there to talk about?

Dreams.

I'm not new to the blogging scene, I've tried my hand at it before. Problem was, obstacles such as procrastination, school and lack of time (once I'm done with procrastinating) have all stood in my way, and so each and every one of my two or three blogs have failed. they're still up, but I don't think even I know what they're called or where they are right now.

Hopefully, that will all change.

Maybe this will be a new beginning.

This blog is different. It isn't to promote an Etsy shop or a YouTube channel, or try to be some amazing fourteen year old online presence with a 'secret' life through my computer screen. None of that. This is me. Just me.

Yes, you don't know who I am. Maybe one day you will, but for now, that doesn't matter. This isn't about who I am, what my name is or what I look like, its just me. How I think, what I experience or have experienced and its about my past, present and future. Hence the name. I hope for that to be my future. A rural runaway, to get away from the life that is the countryside, surrounded by cows, farmers and nature. I want to get out, be free, to live in the city. Its something I have never experienced and I know that it is for me. One day I'll get there.

That's the dream.