Forgive & Forget.

So, you know how I'm in the UAE right now?

Well I'm here because my Dad lives here. I'm visiting my Dad.

But the thing is, this trip is more than just a visit to see him. I haven't had a real relationship or conversation with him for over 3 years. This trip is our chance to get the relationship back, to forgive each other and to move on.

We've had our little heart-to-heart conversation now, it all appears to be water under the bridge, which is great, but this could have happened a lot sooner. You see, I've been contemplating trying to reinitiate contact for a while now, but my mother's idiocy and my own stupid fears got in the way.

But here we are, moving forward.

So my advice to you for today would be to never hold back. Don't be afraid of how you feel, or how other people feel, just go with it, trust your instincts and you'll be ok.

People on a Plane.

Well the flight wasn’t delayed after all; we left slap-bang on time and as I write this, I am cruising at 37,000 ft.

So far there’s only two screaming children, and they seem to have shut up (for now). There’s also some guy next to me who has a friend elsewhere on the plane who keeps migrating our way to have a natter, and managing to give me a really nice face-full of arse (not.). Every time. Not my cup o’tea, I must say. 

Oh god, the kid’s started up again.

Cut to an hour or so later, the guy in front of me, who keeps shaking his chair with laughter, decides to push his chair back as far as possible, giving me no lap space, or place to put my computer (in order to rant about him…). Later, when dinner comes around I have to ask a stewardess to ask him to sit up because I can't at that angle. Stupid douche-bag.

I nudge him with my knee a couple of times prior to being saved, and every single time, he pushes back on the chair. This is a greying man, as far as I can see, playing childish games on board a flight. I just. What is this world?

There’s also a woman across the aisle from seat guy in my direct line of view who just stood up and revealed her thong in his face. I do sort of feel sorry for the guy, but I also had the unfortunate view of her tush, so maybe not. 

The good thing is, though, that bum-in-face guy gave up eventually though; his friend appears to be sleeping.

We’re only 2:47 hrs into the flight as well.

3:44 hrs to go!

3:00 hrs in, and dick-face the seat guy strikes again, after glaring at me. I swear I’m going to hit him in the face. Or dip his fingers in warm water to make him wet his panties. Or something.

4:04 hrs in: Half asleep but struggling to fall into a true slumber, I open my eyes. And low and behold, butt-in-face guy has returned. And with my face turned in towards the aisle to attempt sleep, I feel awkward closing my eyes so close to his derriere, so I have to wait for him to leave after having a good goss with his mate. And then chair guy starts to stir. I am literally trapped between a bum, an imbecile and my sister’s own weird sleeping position.

Eventually I do fall asleep though.

And I wake up just over an hour later, and the lights are on and they’re handing out coffees etc and I can’t help but feel like people keep staring at me. So now I’m feeling self conscious, after spending the last 5 hours judging these people, they’re judging me. Do I snore? Or is there something on my face? What?!

Yeah, I still don’t know,

And I’m sure that some of the stewardesses and people behind me with good eyesight have read snippets of what I am writing right now and hate me.

They all hate me.

And I don’t blame them really.

Because I highly dislike the majority of them too.

5.32 hrs in and butt-in-face guy is back again. 

Good lord.

A Storm Is Nigh.

This afternoon - the calm before the storm.

There have been severe weather warnings throughout Britain over the past couple of days. Apparently some huge storm of a magnitude we've almost never before experienced is coming in in the early hours of Monday morning.

That's now.

I can hear the rain outside.

But here's the kicker - I'm supposed to be catching a flight to Abu Dhabi tomorrow evening. In the aftermath of a storm. By myself, for the first time.

I must say I'm slightly nervous about turbulence or delays or whatever, and I haven't flown in 6 years, which means this is going to be even more difficult.

Are you going to be affected by the storm? Or if you're reading this later, were you affected by it?

I'll let you all know what coms of my airport adventures tomorrow, hopefully they won't be too crazy.

The wind is whirling. The rain is falling.

Shit.

Review: The Edge of Never (J. A. Redmerski)

So, spur of the moment, yesterday I bought this book. I wasn't sure if it was going to be your average 'blah' soppy love story, or if it was going to be a Fifty Shades of Grey copycat style, only with better writing and a lot less cringe (because let's face it, that's not very difficult to achieve).

Basically, I saw this book with an interesting blurb and an offer on it for only £1.99 and I bought it and I have now finished it. I finished it this morning in fact. I think it took me about five hours (not including the needed sleep in between) to finish. So I guess you already know this is going to be a positive review...

The basic storyline is that Camryn, who is extremely down due to reasons I won't spoil for you, meets Andrew. I don't want to spoil anything but I can't really give a good overview without telling you that Cam basically jumps on a bus to nowhere, and along the way Andrew pops in and of course, because this is a love story, they start talking and liking each other and you get the picture. The story starts with them sharing a bus and getting to know each other from a distance, but as they grow closer, they start to experience live on the edge a little, living without plans or expectations or limits. Doing whatever the fuck they want to do, when they want and how they want. That's their pull. Only, there has to be a twist, and its sort of unexpected and sort of expected all at the same time, but its sad and pretty sudden and almost heartbreaking.

The novel is written in the first person, but has chapters from each of the two main characters' point of view, so you get to know both of them on a deep level and love them both, and I mean really love them. The author has somehow managed to play the part of each of these very different yet very similar people, and I, as the reader, found it easy to understand their emotions and read 'between the lines' I guess at the characters' descriptions of events, and how the other is seeing it too. I always love this multiple first person style of writing, particularly if done well, which this really is.

Going back to my expectations of the book (Remember? - cliche vs. Fifty Shades). There is an extremely good balance here. There's some cliche which you cannot possibly avoid in a romance novel, but it isn't done in a cliched fashion, it still feels genuine. There is a good deal of humour, where appropriate (even sometimes where it isn't, but it works), this is the kind of humour that isn't written in black and white for you. You, as the reader, have to 'get it' too, which further helps you to bond with the Cam and Andrew as a couple.

Now here's where the fifty shades part comes in. Yes, there is sex, and it is on the graphic side. However, for me, that's good. I don't like to read a book where the author is too coy to describe anything more than the first kiss in any amount of detail. The sex matters, so it needs to be there, and the way it is written is both beautiful and naughty. But comparing this book to Fifty Shades is wrong. Besides the fact that there's more detail than just the 'and we kissed and lay down and spent the night together' crap, fifty shades is badly written, very cliche and very cringeworthy. Whereas, this is not. So if you're scared, sort of like me, of picking up any book on the shelf that looks vaguely like it might be a part of the Fifty Shades Copycat Author Fan Club, don't be scared of picking this up, because it isn't smutty and it isn't middle aged women's book porn, it's just... good.

The sequel, The Edge of Always is coming out in around two weeks (Nov. 5th in US and Nov. 7th in UK), in ebook format only for £1.99. I've just preordered it

So basically get this book, read it, and love it, because it's amazing and I think it is under recognised as being so.

Glow-Sperm.

Did I ever tell you the story of the glow-sperm?

On the day I passed my driving test I finally had the right to my car keys, they were mine. All mine. However, they were pretty boring looking - All I had on them was my car key, house key, school locker key and some trolley token from some organisation I don't are much for.

I mentioned to my Mum that I wanted to get a keyring or two to jazz them up a bit.

'Ooh!' She goes.

I stand in bemusement and wonderment as she rummages through her handbag and hands me an bright pink sperm-shaped keyring.

I took it from her and stared at it for a while. 'What?'

'Its a sperm keyring. I got it from some stall at a health fair I was working at and thought it was funny. Do you want it?'

Uhhh.... 'I'm OK thanks....'

So here she says: 'Are you sure? It even glows in the dark!'

What?! This was one of the most surreal moments of my life. It took me about ten minutes to persuade my Mum that it was weird to put a glow-in-the-dark sperm on your keys. That it would raise questions and that it wasn't 'cute'.

So that's that.

She then proceeded to tell me about the queue of guys at the same stall waiting for free chlamydia tests. That did make me chuckle.

Medicine.

So I went to the Hospital today.

I was referred way back in June or July for a problem I've had with my collar bone for a long time now (as in 10 years or so), and finally on tuesday they called me and said 'Hey, want an appointment on Thursday?' so I was like YES. I'd completely forgotten about the referral.

Anyway, going there I was reminded that the last time they looked at me was 2005. That's 8 years ago. This problem I have is something 'non-specific', I've had pretty much every test out there and they don't know what causes the pain or the weirdness in it, so apparently they gave up on me.

But now they're restarting the investigation and they're talking about surgery or another biopsy etc etc and it's pretty scary to be honest, but at least they're doing something now rather than letting me wallow in pain every few months.

So I guess that's good.

I'm a Brit.

There are some stereotypically 'british' activities/personality traits out there, so why not check how much of a Brit I really am? 

I found a pretty good list here, which I am going to use as a reference.

1. Queuing:

I never realised that this was a 'British' thing to do until I went to Austria and just getting to the checkout was like my first experience of a mosh pit. I don't understand what's so wrong with queuing? It's polite, and it's fair and although it's a pain in the arse sometimes its so much easier. I on't particularly want to mosh every time I want to buy a pack of gum. Or tea.

Although on several occasions I have found myself standing behind people thinking I was in a queue for something when I, in fact was not. There's then the walk of shame where people turn and wonder why you've been standing behind them for ten minutes.

I went to the Tate Modern in London last year and there was a display on, from what I remember you were supposed to look through some peep-hole and see something miraculous behind it. It was like a telescope but it was 'art'. My friends and I walked through the archway and saw this thing people were looking into and when they moved away, we went over to check it out too. Only then (while Zoe had looked and was saying 'what, I don't see anything. I don't get it'), did I notice the rather large security lady sitting on a stool glaring at us. Looking to my left, I noticed the line of people (to which I could see no end), also glaring. That, my friends, is the importance of queuing in Britain, especially where art nerds who are easily offended are involved.


2. Quiet/Shy/Reserved:

Yes, we thank drivers for waiting for us to pass even though it is our right of way anyway. Yes, we thank people for everything, and apologise at almost nothing. We do this, we're polite. So?

If I was sitting on the tube,  or a train or the bus and someone sparked up a conversation with me, I would want to run. When I'm going about my own life and some stranger decides to interrupt it by talking to me, I am going to feel awkward, and I am going to want to end the conversation as soon as possible.

This is us in a nutshell...

3. Weather:

This one first occurred to me while reading a Bill Bryson book. If there is nothing to talk about, we resort to talking about the weather. If there's an awkward silence, we talk about the weather. If it's sunny in summer or snowy in winter we like to complain about it, or express delight. Either way, we do it. And it is good.


4. Tea:

I'm not the greatest tea-fan, you know. I do get the odd hankering for a cuppa Earl Grey, but your bog-standard PG-Tips or Tetley just won't cut it in my opinion.

5. Humour:

Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit, but it is damn funny in Ol' Blighty. I don't think I could even socialise in a culture that doesn't have any understanding or appreciation of this beauty. Sarcasm is my only form of humour, and I'm pretty good at it - how can you live without it?

So basically I have confirmed that although I am in some ways ashamed of my Brit-ness, I am pretty much the stereotype, and actually, I'm OK with that.

Charity.

I decided that next summer, (Summer 2014), I'm going to go to Thailand for a month with a friend and look after elephants. We're then going to spend a week in Japan, and are going to come home and then go to Uni.

That's the plan!  Now I just need to come up with an amazing plan to fundraise because £4000 is quite a lot of money for the two of us to raise in less than a year, so that's happening right now.

In other charitable news...

I'm the 'charity rep' for my house at school. If you don't get houses its like Gryffindor or Slytherin in Harry Potter, only less competitive (not counting sports day, of course...). Anyway, as charity rep I have to organise fundraising events. Duh. This year's charity is #cutcakenotwrists which is a far cry from the usual hospital/cancer sort of charities we do. So that I'm happy about.

What is our first event? Music Bingo. Yep. That means I sent the entire evening downloading 45 different songs. And they're not normal songs either, oh no. They're the teachers' favourite songs, which means that I have been downloading everything from Mozart to Bastille to The Beatles. Literally.

I had to learn what a 'slow movement' in a symphony is. And I had to figure out which one that was in several hour-long pieces of music. I also listened to five different 'funny' physics parodies because Mr. Physics is too serious enough to give us his favourite songs (he has no sense of humour but his own terrible jokes).

So its safe to say my ears are currently high risk for bleeding.