People on a Plane.

Well the flight wasn’t delayed after all; we left slap-bang on time and as I write this, I am cruising at 37,000 ft.

So far there’s only two screaming children, and they seem to have shut up (for now). There’s also some guy next to me who has a friend elsewhere on the plane who keeps migrating our way to have a natter, and managing to give me a really nice face-full of arse (not.). Every time. Not my cup o’tea, I must say. 

Oh god, the kid’s started up again.

Cut to an hour or so later, the guy in front of me, who keeps shaking his chair with laughter, decides to push his chair back as far as possible, giving me no lap space, or place to put my computer (in order to rant about him…). Later, when dinner comes around I have to ask a stewardess to ask him to sit up because I can't at that angle. Stupid douche-bag.

I nudge him with my knee a couple of times prior to being saved, and every single time, he pushes back on the chair. This is a greying man, as far as I can see, playing childish games on board a flight. I just. What is this world?

There’s also a woman across the aisle from seat guy in my direct line of view who just stood up and revealed her thong in his face. I do sort of feel sorry for the guy, but I also had the unfortunate view of her tush, so maybe not. 

The good thing is, though, that bum-in-face guy gave up eventually though; his friend appears to be sleeping.

We’re only 2:47 hrs into the flight as well.

3:44 hrs to go!

3:00 hrs in, and dick-face the seat guy strikes again, after glaring at me. I swear I’m going to hit him in the face. Or dip his fingers in warm water to make him wet his panties. Or something.

4:04 hrs in: Half asleep but struggling to fall into a true slumber, I open my eyes. And low and behold, butt-in-face guy has returned. And with my face turned in towards the aisle to attempt sleep, I feel awkward closing my eyes so close to his derriere, so I have to wait for him to leave after having a good goss with his mate. And then chair guy starts to stir. I am literally trapped between a bum, an imbecile and my sister’s own weird sleeping position.

Eventually I do fall asleep though.

And I wake up just over an hour later, and the lights are on and they’re handing out coffees etc and I can’t help but feel like people keep staring at me. So now I’m feeling self conscious, after spending the last 5 hours judging these people, they’re judging me. Do I snore? Or is there something on my face? What?!

Yeah, I still don’t know,

And I’m sure that some of the stewardesses and people behind me with good eyesight have read snippets of what I am writing right now and hate me.

They all hate me.

And I don’t blame them really.

Because I highly dislike the majority of them too.

5.32 hrs in and butt-in-face guy is back again. 

Good lord.